Self worth

Yesterday I had the most interesting conversation with a stranger while in Central Park in Manhattan, New York. I did not expect that from a few simple and so called basic exchange of words a proper conversation could developed.

As the conversation progressed, it ended up to be the start of a very brief conversation.

I was asked a question by a man who I did not know and who was quite persuasive: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' I was very quiet and a little stunned for a while before looking him in the eye and answered his question with another question, 'Do you really want to know? Because I am surely not planning to hold back on giving you my answer'. Without being hesitant, he said 'Yes!'

I began to expound and just said, 'As a woman in this day and age, I am in the position to ask a man what can he do for me I cannot do for myself? I pay my own bills, I take care of my household without the help of any man or woman for that matter. Therefore I am in the position to ask, 'What can he bring to the table?'

Of course, this man just looked at me for a few seconds without saying anything. So clearly he must have thought I was referring to money. At least that is what I thought... So quickly I tried to correct his thought and stated, 'I am not referring to money if that is what you think, I need something so much more than just that. Something more than the material stuff. I need a man that is striving for excellence in every aspect of life in general and not only his own'.

After I finished my last sentence, again, I got the same look. As if what I said was really peaking his brain. He sat back on the bench folded his arms and asked me to explain what I actually meant. And again, I did.

I told him, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I do not need a simple minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I do not want to feel as if we are unequal... believers mixed with non-believers is a pretty good recipe for a disaster, don't you think?' Even though I have asked a question, I did not wait for his reply. I continued.

'I need a man that is striving for excellence financially because I do not need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game playing are not my idea of a strong man. I do not want to waste my time on someone that likes to play around and pretends to know what he wants when he actually doesn't, as his actions speak louder than his words. I need a man who is family orientated, because one day I do want to have a family with this man and him being the father of my beautiful children. One who can be a leader, someone who will practice what he preaches and will be a provider to the lives entrusted to him. I need someone whom I can respect and even look up to. I cannot fully surrender myself and be submissive to a man who is not taking care of his business. I do not have a problem being submissive... he just needs to be worthy! Of course a man who is confident is great, but being competent needs to go with it as well. And by the way... I am not looking for him. He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Maybe not fully, but in bits and pieces. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will be drawn to me. I can't help a man if he cannot help himself. In a relationship, I need a man who's going to call me out, not someone who's going to let everything slide. I need to feel that  he doesn't want to live without me, but can. Not somebody that is dependant, but somebody who is stronger with me. This is the relationship I visualize to have. It consist of two people, not just one. We will be a team. I will be his woman and he will be my man. He will not only be my partner but my best friend. It will be us against the world'.

Once I finished without being interrupted I just looked at this person in front of me. He set there with a puzzled look on his face, which honestly didn't surprise me. He then followed up that look with, 'You are asking a lot!'.

Which I replied, 'I am worth a lot!'

"Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change."

By Stephen Covey