Hey... I just met you! =)

Bittersweet

I think everyone has at least one time in their life where they had experienced that bittersweet feeling. I always heard people talking about it but I never experienced it nor understood it very well, until now.

That feeling is amazing but "killing" at the same time. 

How can you tell someone exactly what you want but at the same time you can't? How can someone be so close but yet so far? How come that person brings out your weakest and your strongest points at the same time? How can that person bring out that creative part of yours, the one you thought you'd lost? How come someone cannot see what you're seeing?

For all of the above, there are reasons. And it doestn't matter what those reasons are, you still see yourself there next to that person because your reasons are endless. Some you understand and you have an explenation for. And for some you don't.

It's just like a river that can be as deep as 12ft. or deeper. You just do not know what's in it unless you will make it across. But because it's so deep you can either find a way to do it yourself or grab someones hand and let them help you. And the only way of doing that is by giving in... by taking... and maybe by slowly letting go... And then you can ask yourself: 'How good can this get?'

Knowing what you want in life and what you don't, usually makes it easier to speak your mind. But what if you reached that point where you thought you would never be? That point where you know exactly what you want and your mind is screaming for the words to come out but they just won't.

Is it fear? Is it... yea... I don't even know what it is myself. You find that feeling of trust, comfort, relaxation, honesty etc. just in one person. Something I find rare as weird as I made it sound. Every now and then you meet people that cross your path. Some stay longer than others and some just come and go. Some will add value to your life and some won't.

No one knows what the future brings but you can always decide what you want and who you let in. Talking about 'your' future and wanting someone to be a part of it may sound like it's something big and complicated. But it's not. We are just human and we make things as complicated as we want them to be. But if the balance is there and the harmony within yourself is present it should be oke.

It might be the fear of loosing someone or that specific person that can make one another silent. Or maybe it just might be the feeling where you tell yourself it's oke as long as you have what you have now. 

Not telling the person what you really want, isn't called a lie or hidding a big secret that may end up ruining something. Maybe you're just waiting for that person to pick themselves up from what they've been through and open their eyes and just let them see what will happen next. Even though the fear by looking and the fear of hearing maybe there because you can always loose that person to someone else because of your silence.

Some will tell you: 

Be straight forward and say it.

Find that perfect moment and timing.

It's always easier said than done. Because you know so much and at the same time so little about the person. Be straight forward? well sometimes you just have to be. Find that perfect moment and timing? Ofcourse there are always a million perfect moments and timings. But I don't think it's only about being straight forward or the perfect moment or timing. It's about how you feel! If you feel like saying it without hesitating or wanting to think about it too much? Well... then that's that.

As long as you're always telling the truth and most of all it should come from the heart. And ofcourse... you can always be head over heels but you always have a good head on your shoulders and think.

So... should I tell you or should I not?

Should wait and see what happens or shouldn't I waste my time waiting? Or should I just ask you?

Tell me...

'LIFE happens while you are busy making plans.'

Scars

Sometimes you have moments where you sell yourself short to one another because you have this weakness of caring too much. You open your heart the moment you start to trust.

But afterwards... you can always have the scars because you tore your heart open.

By tearing your heart open and having scars, will remind you that the past is real. And sometimes you might even ask yourself the question: 'Why do I tear my heart open?'

And surprisingly enough... you never have an answer, because it happens.

You might get disappointed in yourself. And why? Because you let it happen. You gave someone the power to distroy you even when you trusted them not too.

"They" say 'time heals everything!'. And yes, I believe it that saying. Because everybody needs time. Time is just always needed with whatever you do in life. Time is needed to create something beautiful. Time is needed to care for someone. Time is needed when you miss a loved one who has passed away. Time is needed to win someones heart. And so on... Time is just a four letter word but it's meaning is endless!

When you look at your own situation from the outside. It's like standing on the outside like a stranger looking in. Cause eventhough you haven't given everything, you did give something.

Eventhough there is a mess that has been left behind, you can't hate that person. You might miss them. But you will forget and eventually you will let go! Somethings are just gone forever and you just won't give it no more tries only time, because that is the only thing that is needed.

You can get by without that person without having to lie about it. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!

But do be thankfull for what that person brought into your life. Because even when you end up having tears eventually they will dry. The moment the tears dry... all is done and there is nothing to say. You know so much but still there will be nothing to say.

To fall in love may be hard for someone. But falling for betrail is worse! You thought you could build faith and trust and eventually you find out you build it on empty words and promisses.

So the times comes when all is done and there is nothing say.

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.

No Rules

For some reason every person wants to set a few rules for them selfs. And ofcourse every single one of those people have their own reason(s). Some think that by making and setting certain rules for yourself you can prevent some things from happening.

There is a saying: "Rules are meant to be broken". But ofcourse, some rules just need to be followed, because you cannot go "around" nor can you "bend" them.

But if something happens it happens. Let me not call them "things", because when it's so beautiful it is not a thing and eventually you either go "around" or "bend" the rules, therfore, there are no rules. No matter how many rules you wanna make. At a certain point none of those rules will matter. No matter how scared it may seem or how scared you may get or how scared you may feel or how how bad you want to protect yourself... some things you cannot control and they just happen.

I think that rules are either made to prevent somethings from happening or they are made because something(s) had happened.

You have people that are so spontaneous, very impulsive and can very seldom think twice about something and can live every moment full of adrenalin. These people can usually be the ones that are so careful and set rules when it comes to their feelings. Even when they know that life continuity gives us roots and changes gives us branches.

Sometimes things happen so spontaneously. And when they had happened, you do not know whether to regret it, even though it is something your heart wants. It is like people sometimes fear what they want the most. But ofcourse you should not give up on something you really want. It is very difficult to sit, wait and think, but it is even worse to regret when you know it is something you secretly want!

Cause there are so many moments you can share with anyone or just someone in particular and you feel like you want that moment to last forever, when you know it is only a moment. And sometimes, well... I dunno if I should call it faith but I will call it that because faith has tricky ways of doing something you probaly thought you'd never expected.

But in life, never regret anything you do. Because in the end it makes you HAPPY and it makes who you are.